


Now I’m here

by imaginesandideas



Series: Roger Taylor one-shots [6]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Freddie is reader's best friend, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Platonic!Freddie x Reader, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-09 03:09:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20846549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginesandideas/pseuds/imaginesandideas
Summary: Reader finds out about her pregnancy, but has some reasonable doubts and with Freddie's help decides not to inform Roger about her plans.





	Now I’m here

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by @rogerbuttersmyeggroll.
> 
> Originally posted on my tumblr (@imaginesandideas).

“_Where is she?_” Roger stormed inside the room finding the rest of the band (missing Freddie) standing around the piano and discussing something. Brian and John’s wives were talking on the couch in the opposite side of the room. Everyone's attention immediately turned to Roger who looked very tense.

“_Who mate?_” Brian asked raising his brows. John rolled his eyes at his taller friend.

“_His girlfriend, genius._”

„_Yea, and which one is it, this time?_”

Roger threw his hands up in disbelief.

You’ve been together for 10 months now, which was quite impressive especially for Roger who wasn’t that much into trying out anything serious. Yet something about you has made him want to be more attentive, more emotionally engaged. And then, he actually became it. The fact that he came so worried should only be proving everyone else that he wasn’t just playing around anymore.

„______! Have you seen her?_” He gazed around restless, desperately looking for at least a sign that she was around.

“_Nah man. Haven’t seen her._”

Roger sat heavily on the armchair trying to gather his thoughts. He was visibly pissed, but not regular pissed - his anger was partially caused by worry, and that obviously meant that the reason behind it was serious.

Last night both of you were supposed to hit the town and relax a little before the struggles of recording an album would come in your way yet again. The problem was, that soon after you found the right place, you felt sick and you weren’t that keen on partying anymore. After assuring Rog that he didn’t have to go back with you, and letting him pay for the cab, you ended your day with a long serie of vomiting and general dizziness. It wasn’t the first time you felt like that though. Lately you’ve put off weight, you were constantly feeling tired and nauseous. That night however you started to put things together, and… _You just had to know_.

Luckily your mother would always supply you with what at the time seemed unnecessary, so it was around midnight as you sat on the edge of bathtub with a test hanging in your hand. Seconds only seemed to prolong, your feet dancing nervously on the bathroom tiles. And then, you saw it.

But you obviously thought that you might have been wronged, so you redid the test. And the results remained the same.

Tears were streaming down your face and chest as you sat on the floor thinking what’s going to happen now. You knew Roger, you knew how he lived and that no matter how many times he’s told you he loved you, you weren’t the first one he said it to. What if he’d dump you once he’d find out? Or maybe he’d assume you were cheating on him? Or he’d just replace you?

It might have been the shock, or the fact that the hormones started working already, but all of the ugliest thoughts were crippling behind your head, planting the idea for abortion. The worst thing - you couldn’t just ask your friends for advice. You didn’t want them to know. You didn’t want anyone to know, but you’ve felt so utterly alone in your fate that you decided to call one person that could possibly understand you. Your dearest friend...

“______, darling! I thought you two lovebirds were onto something tonight!_” You were sitting on your bed with phone on your knees, your foot tapping nervously as you began speaking.

“_Umm, yeah that was the plan, but…but something happened Fred. And I need your advice._” Freddie immediately caught the weariness and trembling in your voice.

“_Darling you know you can count on me anytime._”

“_I know._” You sobbed into the handset, forcing yourself not to break into tears completely. “_I’ve been having these thoughts for some time now, but I only confirmed it all an hour ago, a-and Roger is out there having good time, and it’s good cause he deserves it, but at the same time I’m here on my own with this and-_“

“_Are you pregnant?_” You sighed nodding to yourself.

“_Yes._”

“_But that’s a wonderful news! You should tell him as soon-_“

“_He doesn’t have to know._”

“_Ow. You’re not happy are you?_” Tears falling down your cheeks again you laid down on the bed.

“_I don’t think it’s the right time._” Your arm wrapped around your midsection and you looked down. “_I don’t think we’re ready._”

“_You want to get an abortion dear?_” Freddie had the talent of articulating things that couldn’t get through your throat. That’s why he was such a good friend. And without him you wouldn’t even meet Roger in the first place.

You took a deep breath in.

“_Yea._”

“_If that’s what you want, then I’ll do anything in my power to help you darling._”

“_I’ll deal with it. Just keep him unaware. I’m gonna be late at the studio tomorrow, so please cover me._”

“_Got it, sweetheart. Just be careful please. And don’t do anything you’d regret later._”

Roger came back earlier than he’d planned (mainly cause he was worried about you not picking up his calls) only to melt upon seeing you curled up in the bed asleep. He felt bad about letting you stay all alone. In fact you had to force yourself not to hug him and tell about everything, because once he wrapped his arms around you, you felt like you couldn’t fake anymore.

Fake that you’re sleeping, fake that everything’s fine and that you don’t need him more than ever. You did. But his warm embrace brought you a little peace and hope for better. And it had to be enough. At least for the night.

In the morning he woke up to your side of the bed being empty, a small letter on a nightstand.

> “_I had to leave early, but I promise I’ll be at the rehearsal! Don’t worry though, it’s nothing too serious. Love, _____._”

He groaned, thinking about how he didn’t even got a chance to ask you if you’re okay after yesterday’s events. He stayed like that for a few more minutes holding a piece of paper between his fingers. He was thinking about how even the way you write brought so much joy and love to his heart. Soon after he grabbed something to eat from the kitchen and was heading to the shower until… his eyes caught something in the bathroom bucket next to the door. Something small, yet so significant he couldn’t possibly miss it.

A test. And beneath some other trash, another one.

They were both positive and his heart immediately dropped. You weren’t feeling that well, because **you were pregnant!** With his child! _**With him! **_

But why wouldn’t you tell him? In those lazy, intimate moments you both had joked how you’d name your children, or how would they look like. About how they’d get bright eyes from him, and attitude from you. And that you’d go through this together.

But then again, you didn’t even suggest anything. Nothing. He ran back to the paper you’d left. “_nothing too serious_”. He’s never dressed up as quick as on that day. Throwing his coat on he run down the stairs and got to the car. His heart didn’t stop racing the entire way through streets of London and up the stairs to the studio.

Not finding you where you’d promised to be, he got angry. Not at you not telling him, but the fact that he didn’t know where you went, what for and _why you didn’t tell him_ in the first place. He sat there, brows furrowed, chin resting on his clenched fist. He was ready to start a fight at this point.

“_What’s up dar-_“ Freddie stopped mid-movement at the door. “_Roger, dear. Has something… happened?_” Unsure of how to behave in current situation, Freddie decided to act as casual as he could.

“_Yeah, but none of you will help me anyway, so._” He threw his hands in the air dismissively, still not bothering to look up at any of his friends.

“_Well, fine then. Just sit on your stool and play, we can’t waste all day on being rude to one another._”

“_I’m not really in a mood to play anything, to be honest._”

“_Then talk to us Roger! What’s wrong with you and _____ this time?_” Brian came to stand next to seated Roger, hands coming to rest on his hips. Freddie took a glass filled with water from the table standing between them and held it out for Roger to take it. At first he rolled his eyes but then took it sighing. After emptying the glass, he put it back down and looked up.

His face was the epitome of breakdown, he’s never looked so helpless and upset during all the years they’ve been through together. Freddie couldn’t face him. The idea of Roger not knowing any of what you’ve been going through right at that moment made him feel sick. He was glad he wore sunglasses so his blonde friend couldn’t recognise by the look in his eyes what was happening in his head. The tension was invisible yet impossible to miss. Brian was making faces at Freddie and Roger trying to understand what was actually happening when the frontman decided to speak.

“_Can you darlings leave us for a short minute?_”

“_But we were supposed to-_“

“_Deaky, please. We need to sort some stuff out with Roger here, or we’ll never record anything._”

Brian only mumbled confused “_okay_” and both of them left, taking their women with them. Until then, there was only uncomfortable silence and continued staring. When the door was closed Roger sat up straight.

“_You know something._” Freddie took off his glasses and pointed them at Roger.

“_I promised not to tell!_”

“_I knew it!_”

“_You have to talk to her more! She needs you more than you think! And please don’t behave like you usually do._”

“_What the hell do you mean?!_” Roger stood up, arms at his sides.

“_We all know that you’ve got the tendency to go off very quickly, dear. You need to be patient this time. It’s not easy for her either._” Roger took a few deep breaths. The entire situation was so tricky to him, that he couldn’t actually put feelings into words. Probably for the first time in his life.

“_Where did she go?_” Freddie battled himself for a moment.

“_You have to promise you won’t do anything stupid._”

“_Oh come on! You know damn well that I have a right to be pissed!_”

“_But don’t take it out on her._” He sighed putting a hand on Rogers’ chest. “_She’s at the consultation in the clinic. J-just don’t act like a complete prat!_” He yelled after his friend who stormed out the rehearsal studio in a blink of an eye, passing his other friends by on the way out. He knew the adress - he picked you up from there a few times after your regular appointments; he only needed a confirmation. He’s never driven so fast, it was almost a miracle that he didn’t get caught by the police. Freddie on the other hand was crossing his fingers for a happy ending, because knowing Roger _there’d be a fight_. And knowing you, Roger wouldn’t be the only one _yelling_.

In that specific regard you were a true match. If you two have fought it could last hours and to the point where everyone around you begged you to stop. You argued, you made up, you argued again but eventually it would always end up in mutual apologies and reassurances. But now it was different.

He ran in, stopping to ask for direction in the registration office. The lady was polite but almost as confused as Brian as she showed Roger the way. Ball-fisted, he stood in the elevator considering all the possible outcomes and words to say when he sees you. The door opened and he walked out spotting you on chair halfway down the corridor. You looked up, unbelievable sadness in your expression changing momentarily into fear.

“_Rog?_” Tears immediately filled your eyes and your heart rate speeded up. “_W-wha-_“

“_You better tell me what’s going on._” He didn’t even come up to you. He stood there as if cemented to the ground. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know, he was ready to head back any second without an answer.

“_You weren’t supposed to know._”

“_What the bloody hell?! I damn sure should know!_”

“_But you never talk to me!_” You stood up straight, hands at your sides. “_You’re always busy! We barely discuss anything besides YOUR problems! So I had to deal with it myself! Because it’s my problem this time!_” Your voice broke down, making Roger relent a bit.

“_It’s not. It should be on both of us._”

Both of you stood there silently for a few minutes before he came closer, stopping two steps ahead of you unsure of how to behave. “_Did… did you…A-am I too late?_”

“_I was about to have consultation in a few minutes. So, no. I didn’t. I had some… doubts._” You swallowed a cry and lowered your head. You looked so fragile, so broken. All the strength you normally carried with yourself was gone.

Slowly and gently he wrapped his arms around you, letting you hear his heartbeat. It was fast but was getting calmer with every passing second. Every second with you in his arms. He heard your silent sobs and kissed your forehead lightly.

“_I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be such a prick._”

“_I should have told you, b-but I was so afraid. I thought it’s not the right time, there’s so much happening, and we barely see each other lately, a-and you’re going on tour soon, and I’ll be alone and then you’ll leave me and-_“

“_What?! No offence but that’s absolute and utter bullshit._” You locked your eyes with his.

“_I wouldn’t leave you. No matter how dumb I might behave sometimes **I would never leave you because I fucking love you and we’ll work it all out. I promise.**_**”** Your hands found their way to Roger’s neck and you kissed him.

„_I love you too. Even when you’re a dumbass._” He chuckled sadly and held you palm up to his cheek, closing eyes. “_Dad-dumbass._”

“_But next time you’re pregnant you gotta tell me first!_” He pointed a finger at you and you let out a snort. “_What? Fred’s not your boyfriend if I still have something to say._” He said sending you a wink, though deep down he was being absolutely serious. “_If there’s something wrong you have to tell me. I promise that from now on, we’re going to talk more often. We can’t just fuck around and ignore tough stuff, right?_”

„_Okay. More talking, less fucking._” You said as you nuzzled your face in his chest, his hands holding you in a protective manner. His chest shook with laughter.

„_Oh no, no no. That’s not what I said._” You chuckled, tears slowly fading away from your cheeks. “_As far as I know, you still can shag while pregnant._”

“_Shut up!_” You pushed him away half appalled, half laughing. And in that moment you were truly starting to feel content with everything that laid ahead of you. After all the worries and uncertainty of yesterday, your heart was at peace. Whatever was about to happen, you two were stuck in it together. For bad and for the good.

* * *

**~~~ BONUS ~~~**

“_How we’re gonna name him though?_” You furrowed your brows in disbelief.

“_Him?_”

“_What? Don’t tell me it’s a girl!_”

“_How would I know, it’s too early for that anyway!_”

“_Then why would you huff at me like that?_”

You widened your eyes at Roger, unable to follow his way train of thought.

“_Cause you automatically assumed it’s gonna be a boy! That’s just a bit…sexist?_”

“_No, I’m just assuming that after your overall behaviour. They say it’s gonna be a boy if woman is more nasty than usual._” He said earning the biggest eye roll he has ever seen in his life.


End file.
